Abimbola Dayo-Aiyetan is a remarkable woman who has kept the faith.
She didn’t get married until her mid-forties yet she held onto God’s promises during this period. In this interview, author and singer, ABIMBOLA DAYO-AIYETAN tells FUNKE OSAE-BROWN about her new book, Woman To Woman and how she has been encouraging other singles.
The first time I met her ten years ago, she had just released a gospel album. At the time, I wondered how she had the time for music as a busy executive. A decade on, she has changed jobs, released a second gospel album and her schedule more busy than ever before. Yet she still finds the time to write. Her new book, “Woman to Woman” chronicles her experience in God’s waiting room for a life partner. I still never stopped wondering how she still finds time to write. She would later tell me she finds time to write when she is on vacation or at night and at times when she is free on weekends, including public holidays.
Abimbola Dayo-Aiyetan is a remarkable woman who has kept the faith, in spite of getting married so late in life. “I married quite late,” she tells TLR in an exclusive interview, “having desired to be married since I was twenty-one and eligible to be, as a young graduate and Christian”. The period between then and when I eventually married in my mid-forties which I refer to as my “waiting season” of marital fulfillment is a very defining part of my life which has contributed greatly in shaping me to be who I am today in terms of my purpose, vision, destiny, character and faith in God, among other things.”
Dayo-Aiyetan says she cannot help it but talk about her life, where she is coming from and where she is going to, without reference to that period in her life. “It was a very interesting period of my life, over twenty-years of waiting and waiting, while running the race of life. It was a period of expectations, loneliness, disappointment, adaptation to being a “mature singe Christian woman”, fulfilling my purpose irrespective of being married or not, contending with the biological clock ticker, relationships etc.”
Her book accompanied by a music CD titled “Your Season” is a product of her speaking engagements with other singles that are currently in God’s waiting room for their life partners. “Having had the opportunity to speak at various meetings and fellowships to single women especially after I got married, I recognized a need to put down in writing my thoughts in order to reach a wider audience, how God sustained me throughout this period of my life.”
With ‘Woman-To-Woman’, Dayo-Aiyetan says she hopes to encourage women who are currently going through her experience to keep faith.
With ‘Woman-To-Woman’, Dayo-Aiyetan says she hopes to encourage women who are currently going through her experience to keep faith.
“It’s all about encouragement, hope and keeping the faith. Not just in waiting for a life partner, but in any area of our lives which we are trusting God for fulfillment. My desire is that reading the book will encourage fellow sisters not to give up, to continue holding on in their faith no matter what the situation is and know that God is still in the business of answering prayers. Most importantly, they should not be discouraged but continue to make the most of this period of their lives in working towards fulfilling their destinies. This is the reason why the mode of writing employed is geared towards being real, practical, humorous and relatable in such a way that others can identify with it.”
Based on her experience, Dayo-Aiyetan says the key characteristics that are essential through the waiting period are: perseverance, patience, faith, self-belief, and diligence. “Belief in oneself, be confident, focus on achieving ones vision and dreams. Most importantly, have a relationship with God.”
With the challenges that come with being a career woman, she admits her career did not affect how long she had to wait. “As a young graduate, I started working in the banking industry and from there to the technology industry and then back to the banking industry. There was never any doubt in my mind that I wanted to be a wife and mother along with having a career for as long as I can remember. The thought and understanding was that everything will fall into place at the right time. I just had no inkling that it would take so long.”
She admitted that some men may have been intimidated by her financial independence. “As someone trusting God, there gets a point where you feel you need to lower your standards a bit so as to accommodate and not being too rigid and to allow different categories of men to approach you. But the onus is also for one to prayerfully decipher and open her eyes “wide” to see the true motive of the men that come along. The truth is, when your heart is right, wrong reasons are eventually revealed for what they are.”
After waiting for many years, Dayo-Aiyetan finally found her Adam, a love at first sight, she calls it.
“To say truth, I fell in love. He had a good number of the qualities I had always desired in the man of my dreams since I was a young girl and as a matured woman – spiritually, physically and character-wise. We courted for one year and I had peace in my spirit.”
She has advice for ladies waiting for their ‘Prince Charming’: Have a relationship with your maker. Don’t be pretentious, be alert and be watchful. Get busy doing something fulfilling and rewarding. As in any situation when things are not working out as they should, stay positive, surround yourself with people of like faith who can encourage you, pray without ceasing, even when you seem to get tired of praying and waiting, don’t give up, stay focused!”
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